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:icontwinagatedragons: More from TwinAgateDragons


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Submitted on
November 20, 2012
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Creative Commons License
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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Lets throw away all the labels and
Open our hearts to see the beauty
Veiled eyes now shining so bright
Everyone sees the beauty inside
Only after the shackles of labels are dead and gone can love sweep this Earth and unify us in strength.
:iconladyofsilver:
Hello! I'm here on behalf of :iconthe-writers-study:. You submitted this to the critique folder so I'm here to give you the critique.

To begin with, the thing that makes this poem really impressiove is how it manages to pass a message across and bring out a lot of emotions to the reader within a few lines.
I like the idea of LOVE. Each letter of every line creates the word, truly impressive, indeed. The adjective 'veiled' really fascinated because it passed the image of veiled, covered eyes to my mind,

Thare's only one thing I'd like to point out. You've used the word 'beauty' twice in just four lines, repeating yourself. It just doesn't sound right.

Other than that, you did a wonderful job.
What do you think?
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:icongivemore:
Givemore Dec 12, 2012  Student Photographer
I truly fell in love with this poem. I really really enjoyed it and it spoke to me in a special way. Thank you for sharing this. I can't wait to read some of your other stuff.
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:icontwinagatedragons:
TwinAgateDragons Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I really try to pour my heart and soul into my written works and I have a whole bunch of material that I think you might enjoy.
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